Thursday, May 6, 2010

Day 15

My last visit to the doctor's office for two weeks. The wait has begun. I am still feeling my shot from two days ago and hope that in a few days I can sleep on my side again. Ahh….the pains of infertility. If only it was only physical and not all of the emotional heartache that seems to accompany all of it.

I have finished the "The Happiness Project" and have started my own. I am unsure if you can read the book without having some inspiration to start your own happiness project. Therefore in May, I am hoping to be happier by…working out regularly, blogging my thoughts, memorizing Bible verses, and being a generous friend with both my time and attention. The book says to make a spreadsheet of the four resolutions and then check the days off when you feel successful. Some things are easy to check off like working out, either I did or I did not, (which yesterday I did not) I blamed it on the shot. But how do I judge being a generous friend? I guess my challenge is then to find ways to be generous to my friends and follow through with them.

I don't have many thoughts today about the IUI, I am hoping that it will work, but this month I am trying to keep my emotions in check a bit more and just to trust God. That is so much easier said than done. I can type I am going to trust God, I can say it out loud, can I really believe it in my heart? That is my prayer today to trust that God has a plan and it is a good one. It will not always be easy, it will not always be fun, and it most definitely will not be my first reaction, but I am trying to trust.

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