Day 13

Thoughts, praises, life…time passes by so quickly. Yesterday was my mom's birthday…again! Why, do some days just drag on and on, and others seem to vanish? Is it because I am counting them? By counting the days do I prolong the pain or help it to escape more quickly? Why, oh why, does the last month of school go so slow? Songs, poems, self help books, Oprah, all talk about how to enjoy the moment, live every day to the fullest, laugh, love, make every minute count. Does that lead to a better life? Can I just escape for now, forever?

I asked Jon this question last night, maybe you will find some humor in it, and it may explain a little of how I think. We were watching CNN's John King on Larry King. Jon and I have a long running joke about John King because I always thought it was Anderson Cooper. So I asked Jon, "Do you think more people come up to John King and say you look like Anderson Cooper, or vice versa?" I know call me crazy. Anyways, I annoyed him this way all of 2008 as well, when I keep asking him, "Do you think people come up to Tina Fey and say you look like Sarah Palin, or more people come up to Sarah Palin and say you look like Tina Fey?" Your opinions to these questions are always appreciated. If I was better as this blogging thing I would have tried to insert pictures for you to compare. The new Nike….Just Google it.

My story has a point. As I search for God more and more in my struggles, am I reconfirming the God that I believe in, or am I just seeing what I need? Does God change for me? Does he change for you? Should my view of God change? I know today with more conviction than before that God does answer prayers. However, if he answers my prayer with a no, will I still think that? Do I look at God today and say you look like my friend, but then tomorrow look at my friend and not see God? Does this make any sense?

Today I am spending another prep period at the doctor's office and I go back on Wednesday for the IUI. I am so thankful that I have wonderful, supportive, colleagues that allow me to miss when I need to and swoop in to catch me and sometimes my classes when we are falling. Thank you.