Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The road yet traveled

Tis the time for graduations, high school, college, kindergarden…The celebrations, the excitement of it all, having the whole world before you. The future is yours. Remember those days, the days when you had your cap and gown and diploma and knew that you had so much ahead of you, maybe a new job, maybe a new school, there was an element of excitement and an element of fear.

That is where I stand today. Jon and I visited a new doctor on Friday, and even though I don't have any intentions of switching doctors, I wanted a second opinion to see what he would say. It was basically the same as our current plan. We are on the IVF road, traveling down the scary, expensive, difficult path that it is. There is an element of excitement because the chances of getting pregnant are good, but not guaranteed. There is an element of fear, because it is such a gamble, and I am not the gambling type.

Either way, we have a plan. Is that a good or a bad thing? Does having a plan help my mental sanity or does it just hurt as my plans do not come true month after month? I am excited and yet still so fearful of this road. I am standing at the beginning with my cap and gown and looking down the road yet traveled, and wondering where this road will lead.

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