Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Heaven Stands

Life happens so quickly, and it is not slowing down! I cannot believe all that has been going on these past few days. What happened to my lazy days of summer that I just wrote about? Every day just keeps going and going and then it is over. What a week. One week ago I found out that a dear friend lost her father. Oh the heartache that I am feeling for her. How difficult all this is, how final. Knowing that God has a plan and his plan always comes true.

I am listening to a song given to me by Taryn, by JJ Heller. She told me to listen to it a bit ago, but today I finally downloaded it. The best line is "when my world is shaking, Heaven Stands." What a great reminder, because my world is falling apart some days. Some days it is more than shaking, it is crumbling, crushing down on my heart, just suffocating me. Yesterday was one of those days.

In the midst of coming back to Indy, I went to fertility again. Again, and again, oh for the day when I don't go to fertility. Anyways, I thought it was going to be a pretty normal visit, in fact I told Jon not to come because I was so certain that it was nothing important. It was not a normal quick in, take blood, do a test, it was a full hour of what is going to happen over the next two months. How to give myself shots, the daily appointments, the 22 page consent from, all the decisions that need to be made before we can start. The fact that all of this will fall the week before school and or the week of school starting. The stress of that was enough for me just to throw in the towel.

Yet, when my world is shaking, Heaven Stands. God stands and holds me and protects my heart, and reminds me this is what I want. But today that is very hard to see, that come July 3rd, I am giving myself daily shots, that I am not going on vacation because I have to check in daily, that this summer will be a constant reminder of pain. Yet, when my world is shaking, Heaven Stands.

1 comment:

  1. Heaven does stand. Thinking of you, Kelli and Jon.