We have made the commitment, we are taking the plunge. I am starting shots on July 3rd, and we are officially signed up for IVF. The money has been paid, the medicine ordered, the daily appointments scheduled. We are jumping in with both feet. We are on the IVF journey.
Jon has stressed to me over and over this week, this is a journey. It is not a quick fix, I should not expect to get pregnant on the first try, we are traveling down the road, not just jumping to the end. It is because of this that we signed up for the Attain program. It is basically 2.5 times the cost as one IVF cycle, but it will pay for up to 6. I am such a numbers person that the risk of spending more money than necessary is hard for me to part with, but the stress of knowing that all our eggs, quite literally, are not in one basket but spread out in six makes the extra money worth it. I think that if I get a BFN, (big fat negative, for all of you who had no idea, I had to look it up as well) on the first try, at least I have five more. And if I get a BFP, (big fat positive) then I don’t really think I will be all that upset about the extra money.
The other upside to the Attain program as Jon explains it is that, they only approve people that they know have a good chance of getting pregnant. Basically after try two the Attain program is losing money on me, because they have to pay the doctor the same price each time. That also gives me a bit of comfort.
Therefore this next school year I am working for a baby and I am so happy that my money is going to something I really really want. At least it will make getting up in the morning a bit easier, knowing that I have a reason for each day. If it was only that easy, save up and then cash in.
The only big issue I have with IVF is that I feel it takes the miracle out of the miracle of life. I feel getting pregnant is no longer a “God” thing and more of a “science” thing. Which I am still struggling with. However I know that infertility is a disease and we have medicine to treat diseases and therefore this is the medicine I need. Only God knows if Jon and I will ever have our own children, and He does have a plan, therefore, maybe this is a part of it.