Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Above all else

Proverbs 4:13 "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."

I wrote about this verse a few days ago and it has been on my mind and my heart ever since I read it again. I keep going back to the fact that at this time five years ago I had yet to meet Jon. I think I was in Europe at this time, more specifically in Chartres with People to People. I was in a room with three other single teachers and we are all "worried" about our futures. We were going over guys we had dated, ones we were seeing and learning all the details about the future Trouts. (michelle do you remember this?) So much happened that trip, so much has happened since. All three of us got engaged within one year of that night, and we have two babies and one on the way, do you think there was something in the water?

I sit here and remember all the worrying I did, all the random guys, all the dates, all the time and energy and prayers and conversations spent on worrying. And today for what? Today I have a wonderful husband that I adore and on my way to having a child. And I still worry. I still spent too much time and energy and thoughts on things that I really cannot do anything about. Today I don't do a great job of guarding my heart, listening to the truth, and believing that God does know best.

The verse says "Above all else" , before every thought, before every action, think about the truth. Believe the truth. My truth is that I am well on the way to hopefully having a child of my own. Stop worrying. Stop worrying about the money, stop worrying about the what if's, stop worrying about the time wasted and let truth flow from the wellspring of life.

Five years ago when I put this verse on the shelf, I never thought it would still mean as much today as it did then. I am no longer guarding my heart from random guys, now I am guarding my heart from myself and my thoughts and my fears, and need to be reminded of the truth.


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